Rush Limbaugh, Fancy Plants & Disruptive Thinking
What I'm listening to:
In 1992 I was hustling office plants from a rusted old Chevy van that barely ran for a fly-by-night business called "Fancy Plants". Every morning I would show up at work where we would get to pick our van and plants to take with us based on when we showed up for work. Basically, we would go from business to business in various areas and try to get them to buy plants from us off of the van. When we returned home at night, we were charged $15 for each plant missing or damaged. Whatever was left over was our pay for the day. Yes, it was just as shady as it sounds - so I didn't stay very long.
But I very quickly picked up on something from my co-workers. They were all vying for certain areas/territories that they felt they owned and had "built". In reality, it was nothing but a seniority system. So I very quickly did some math and realized that I could drive up to 90 minutes, add perhaps a dollar per plant in fuel cost and lost time, but have better sales in newer areas. So I started driving to Anderson, Muncie, Kokomo, Terre Haute and Bloomington and made good money (and pissed a few people off who hadn't thought of that idea themselves). It was a lot of windshield time and the Indiana radio markets have always been a little backwards, but it was even worse in 1992.
C:\PAUSE \STORY\FancyPlants.doc
I had an unusual childhood as compared to most of my peers in nearly every way imaginable.
Musically, I had more in common with Amish children than I did with my own classmates.
Speaking of classmates, which ones are we referring to? The Christian kindergarten, or Fortville Elementary for first and part of second? Or for Lawrence Christian for the 2nd half of second? (And then back to Fortville for 3rd-5th). I was a "gifted" child and looking back, I can see it was just as frustrating for others as it was for me. I was an undiagnosed Attention Deficit Disorder mess until I was 38. In sixth grade I transferred the Orchard Country Day School. It changed my life in many ways. I'll write about that another time. Eighth grade I went to Heritage Christian School where I waged a valiant fight against the ban on wearing jeans for two long years before I finally caved and returned to graduate from Mt. Vernon after 7 semesters. And yet, we never moved once. I can still visit my childhood bedroom (although now it is an art room) at the age of 48.
I personally knew people in high school that went to jail for being in the tax protest movement.
I could dial 5 numbers and call anyone in my hometown. I walked to school in 1st & 2nd grade.
I was mowing yards (with my dad's help) at the age of 7 for money. I would help my dad cut down trees in the spring and fall (usually) for firewood. I was "forced" to do all kinds of things around the house regarding upkeep and maintenance. Puttying old windows, taking nails out of old boards, helping reroof a couple of houses, etc. And large family get togethers with cousins and grandparents, friends, aunts and uncles. I spent a lot of time on my grandma's front porch with great aunts and uncles.
I was a Brown, but didn't have the "Brown nose". I knew computers before most anyone I knew. I had a college sophomore reading level in 4th grade. I belonged, but stood apart. I was in this world, but not of it. I was raised in what would be called a religiously fundamentalist household. If I wasn't writing the date on paper, I could tell you what day it was by when the last or next church service was scheduled.
I have straddled two worlds my entire life trying to bridge the gulf between. It sometimes feels as if it is the task of Sisyphus that I have been given. The "God-shaped" hole in my heart is apparently shaped like the letter Y because that question - WHY? - has driven my life as I have run from the black hole towards a black hole. It has created a thinking process that I have come to understand over the last two years is called "disruptive thinking". It has driven to me to constantly search for a better way, a higher truth, a form of wisdom.
C:\RESUME \STORY\FancyPlants.doc
So one day I'm coming home from a successful trip to Terre Haute scanning the horrible Indianapolis radio stations and I returned to WIBC which would broadcast Coast to Coast with George Noory during the late night. And I hear this bombastic guy talking who has lots of attitude and clearly thought very highly of himself. But he could articulate the structure of his arguments and he was able to translate complex topics in actionable data. As I pull into a gas station along Interstate 70, a man at the next pump hears my radio playing Rush Limbaugh. He got all excited and started telling me all about this guy. So I listened a little and learned a lot over the last 28 years.
I didn't always agree with his positions and don't understand why someone would choose entertainment over involvement as he did. I respected his ability to articulate a position, his quick wit, and his commitment to principled principles. I recognized in certain parts of Rush aspects of myself that I didn't clearly understand at the time. Hearing of his struggles in personal relationships, his public failings, one thing I always found him to be was fairly genuine under all of the bravado. In that way, he reminds me of Bono and in some ways of myself - a false, charming bravado in a persona that reflects certain messages and experiences back to the audience for a specific purpose.
Today, Rush Limbaugh passed away from lung cancer at the age of 70. He was a good example of never quitting and finding your voice. It is a complicated feeling for me. I've been struggling the last few years to find my direction and voice. That too will be a separate story. The focus today is that "this"...whatever "this" is, has been starting to come together over the last few months. But I've been held back by a fear that I still don't understand.
Today is a ringing reminder that in the words of Elvis Presley, it's now or never. Things won't be different until I am.
So welcome to Markeology, the study of various nouns (persons, places, things & ideas) or arguments that I find interesting. And because I cannot bring myself to chase subscribers and beg and plead for attention - I support myself with luxury small batch bath & body products derived from 170 year old family recipes.
"I tied myself with wire to let the horses roam free, playing with the fire until the fire played with me."
Ending Credits
U2 - Moment of Surrender